Ask Rhee Gold

Dance educators seek advice about teaching issues

Dear Rhee,

I have a male student (age 12) who is an excellent dancer. He came to my school without any previous training, but he has a natural gift, with exceptional stretch and an understanding of body placement that some of my most advanced dancers don’t have. And he can turn or jump like I’ve never seen before.

When his mom registered him, she told me he could only take tap because his father doesn’t want him to be a sissy. Yes, that’s what she said. During the first week of classes I moved him from basic to intermediate tap right away. Then I decided to ask him to stay for a jazz class because I had a feeling he would be good at that too, and he was. When I saw his mom, I explained that I had never had a student with so much natural ability and I recommended that he continue to take both tap and jazz. She seemed excited that her son was so talented, but before she would say yes she explained that she had to discuss it with her husband.

I then received a call from the dad. He said, “I don’t want my son dancing because it’s a girls’ activity, so please don’t encourage him to take any more classes. I wish he weren’t taking the tap class to begin with.” I could hear the boy crying in the background, so I tried to explain how talented I thought his son was, but he didn’t want to hear it. He said he only had one son and he wanted him to play sports like other guys. Then he hung up on me.

The following week this boy came in for his tap lesson and asked if he could stay for the jazz class, but that he wanted to keep it from his father. Maybe I should have said no, but I told him he could take the class and he continues to this day.

It’s been six months and this boy is one of the best dancers I have, plus he’s now sneaking into a ballet class on days that his father isn’t home. The mom acts like she doesn’t know what her son is up to, but she looks troubled every time she walks into the school.

We are now preparing choreography for our annual concert and I think this boy should be in both the tap and jazz performances, but I know the father will throw a fit and I don’t want the child (or the mom) to go through any more turmoil over dance lessons. There is no question that this child has a talent that shouldn’t be suppressed, but I don’t know what to do. Please help!

—Kathleen

Hi Kathleen,

First let me tell you that I admire your desire to help this boy and develop his talent. There is a reason, beyond what can be explained, why he walked into your school—I am sure of that.

Going against the father’s wishes is not something I would advise doing, but I have a feeling I might have done the same thing! I would probably have the child perform with the tap class only. I would still let him take the jazz and any ballet class he can sneak into, but having him perform anything other than the tap routine will probably infuriate the father. I would try to avoid that for your sake and the child’s (and maybe the mom’s too). It sounds like this guy might be abusive.

Although the father has no desire to let his son follow his own passions, maybe once he sees him perform he’ll realize that holding him back from something he loves to do is the wrong decision. But that’s no guarantee. To make as positive an impression on the father as possible, be sure you costume this boy and choreograph for him in a masculine way. Maybe have him do a lift or two with a couple of the girls—for some reason fathers perceive lifts as a macho thing.

As for the future, take it one day at a time. Sometimes this type of father learns that it’s OK for guys to dance once they understand that it’s not all about boys in tights, or when they see other boys dancing. You might want to give his wife a copy of the March/ April 2006 issue of Goldrush (the male edition) to “accidentally” leave lying around their house. I feel for you and this boy and I hope someday you’ll write to me to tell me that he is dancing with some famous company or maybe in a Broadway show. Please keep me updated.

—Rhee

Hi Rhee,

I’m a new school owner about to enter my second season. Last year we competed in three dance competitions and a national competition last summer. The problem is that most of my entries didn’t score very well because I have a slew of beginners. Each time we went to a competition, I lost at least one student to various schools from my area that competed in the same competitions we did. Next year, I want to do more competitions, but I don’t want to lose students to the schools who have been competing for years. Should I hire outside choreographers or maybe bring in someone to coach my kids? When I opened my school, my goal was to have my students compete, but I also wanted them to win. What can I do?

—Marjorie

Dear Marjorie,

Don’t take this the wrong way, but honesty is my best policy . . . what the heck are you doing competing in the first place? It’s one thing to go to observe a competition to see what’s going on or taking your students to see a competition to inspire them, but there is no way your students are ready to actually compete with the schools who’ve been competing for years. In my opinion it takes 5-10 years before students are prepared for the rigors of competition.

You need to rethink your goal of opening a school for the purpose of competing and forget about winning. Your goal should be to teach beginner students how to dance. As I always say, competition is only a part of what we do, not all we do.

Slow down, forget about competition for now, and figure out how to build your business. Remember advanced dancers don’t just walk in the door. You build them slowly from basic movement to a more advanced level each year. This process takes time.

If you don’t change your goal to something like attracting preschool students or teaching simply the basics, I’m afraid you’re going to continue to lose students. Opening a new school should be motivated by your passion to offer every child the opportunity to experience the wonderful world of dance, and not to win trophies.

—Rhee

Hi Rhee,

I’d like your opinion on an issue at my studio. We do awards at a family banquet the day after our recital. Along with the summer scholarships and awards, I have for the past seven years given a full scholarship to a teacher training school. The recipient must meet certain criteria and have a positive attitude all year. This year no one fits the bill. My quandary: At the awards banquet do I not mention the award since there will be no recipient? Or should I be honest about there being no one who qualifies this year? My daughter thinks I shouldn’t mention it, so as not to hurt anyone’s feeling, but I think I should. If I choose the latter, how do I word my announcement so that I do not offend anyone? Thanks.

—Carol

Hello Carol,

I have to agree with your daughter— simply don’t mention the scholarship. There really is no way to say that no one qualified without sounding negative, and that’s probably not the way you want to end the season.

A thought: Why not replace the scholarship with another award, or several—maybe for most improved student, most valuable assistant teacher, or a parent who has gone above and beyond the call of duty? If you think “outside of the box” and present something new or different, maybe your clientele won’t notice that the scholarship wasn’t presented. And those who receive the new awards will feel good. Best of luck to you!

—Rhee

Hi Rhee,

I offer a one hour ballet/tap combo class for ages 5-6. I absolutely love teaching this age and know they are able to learn more than I can fit into the one hour class. I have become so frustrated not having enough time with them.

I have thought of several options and would love your feedback.

1) Make the class an hour and 15 minutes long. This will give me an extra 15 minutes with them; however, last year was the first time in five years we raised the rates for this class from $45 a month to $50 a month. We didn’t get anyone complaining, but if I make this class longer, I will have to raise the rates again by $12 more.

2) Since most of the little ones can’t wait to take jazz, I could make the class one and a half hours long and call it “Ballet, tap, and pre-jazz.” They would only perform their ballet and tap in the recital. I could use the extra time to give more to them in the ballet and tap and then the last 10 minutes can be devoted to some basic jazz moves. Again, if I did this, I would have to raise the price even higher which I don’t think will go over too well. It’s a big jump from $50 per month to $75 per month.

3) I know many that give two choices for their 5-6 year olds. The first would be the ballet/tap combo class for one hour and the second would be a ballet/jazz combo class for an hour, and then if any of these students wanted tap, it would be an extra half hour following the one hour. I am not crazy about this idea since I don’t really want my 5- and 6-year-olds performing jazz routines until they are at least 7.

Your feedback would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks

—Lisa Marie

Hi Lisa Marie,

Your question is not an easy one; but, you might want to offer two types of class options for this age group. The first option could be the same way it has been. The second option could add an extended program for this age group. That group gets either 15 or 30 minutes more (whichever you are more comfortable with). Many parents will not want their child to “miss out” on the extra time and others may want to stick with what they already have. This will give you the chance to be sure the students can handle the extended class times and it won’t “alienate” those that don’t want to spend the extra money.

I hope this info helps.

—Rhee  

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