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Ask Rhee Gold
Dance
educators seek advice about teaching issues
Dear Rhee,
I was wondering if you had any advice for me. I have had my
own dance studio for 34 years, but have studied dance since
the age of five and now I’m 53. I have judged competitions and
have a competing team of my own. Many kids win many titles and
some have landed on Broadway, and I am burned out of all of
this. What suggestion would you have for me to do now?
Something that would use all of the talents I have but in a
different way. I have so much to give to the dance community,
but I want to do it in a different way now. —Tory
Hi Tory,
Let me
start by saying that once you catch the dance bug, it’s always
in your system, but that doesn’t mean you have to use that bug
the same way throughout your life. I’m 44 years old and I’ve
moved from one dance-related adventure to another, never
really leaving that thing that I love, dance. When people ask
me what I do, I still respond, “I’m a dancer.” That part of me
will never change, even though my waistline has!
Maybe it’s
time to turn over some of your responsibility to others,
becoming the director, but not always having to be in the
school or the classroom. Or maybe it’s time to start looking
for someone that you believe can start to take over the
school. You work out a deal that you stay in at whatever
capacity you want, but slowly ownership is turning over to
your protégé.
Or maybe
you get out altogether and work for others. That seems to be a
trend across the country. Perhaps there’s another adventure
related to dance that you’ve always dreamed of doing –
teaching dance classes in your local public schools or YMCA;
writing about dance for your local newspaper; working for a
local arts commission or dance company in anything from
administration to choreography to special events. Dance has a
ton of different avenues to explore. If you’re feeling
burnout, it doesn’t mean you have to get out altogether, but
it may be time to turn another corner or open a new door. That
can be a GOOD thing if we’re not afraid to go for it! Know
that you are not alone – I meet many dance teachers in your
position at Project Motivate. Some go home totally refreshed
and ready to go again and others make some of the dramatic
(but exciting) changes I described. —Rhee
Dear Rhee,
We have one dancer that is really outstanding. She wins
everything. Titles, overall awards, everything and she’s only
twelve. She can out-dance anyone at the studio, and all of the
older girls are starting to resent her. They don’t think it’s
fair that “she wins everything”. Any advice for jealous
teammates? —Patricia
Hi
Patricia,
Congratulations with your award-winning student. A big part of
her success is a reflection of your quality teaching.
Be sure
that your circumstance really has to do with jealous
teammates. The first thing that I would advise is to ask
yourself if you are not putting too much emphasis (as
teachers) on this twelve-year-old? Ask yourself if the jealous
students are feeling that this dancer is getting special
attention because she’s good, or does she get the same
attention everyone else in the school gets?
When the
other dancers do well at the competition, are they praised, no
matter what they score? Do you and your other teachers spend a
lot of time talking to the kids and their parents about how
good you think this student is? This sort of thing isn’t
always a conscious thing that we do, nor do we perceive
ourselves as showing favoritism, but our actions give off a
perception and that can be just as bad. I like to keep those
“extremely talented” students understanding that the awards
are not what makes a great dancer, but the person inside.
Another
thing to think about is the attitude of the twelve-year-old.
Is she humble and grounded, or does she flaunt her winnings?
Does she realize that she’s good, but there’s always someone
better? All of this is food for thought and doesn’t mean you
are doing anything wrong, but it’s always good to step away
and ask yourself a few questions when dealing with issues like
you describe. —Rhee
Dear Rhee,
We just went to our first competition this weekend. I told all
of my kids last year and many years before that, that they
were not allowed to bring boyfriends to competitions. I feel
there is no need for them to be there and that it is a
distraction and that they should be focused on their team.
This weekend a lot of them brought their boyfriends anyway.
They said that it is a public place and anyone can come to the
competition. What should I do? Am I wrong with my thinking?
—Annette
Dear
Annette,
I agree
with you. The boyfriends and/or girlfriends are a distraction
and they shouldn’t be hanging out at the competitions. Your
dancers should think like they are at work like any
professional dancer. The boyfriend of a Broadway dancer or the
ballet company member isn’t hanging out at their performances.
The main focus for the dancers should be on the performance
and being mentally prepared for the competition, not on their
personal relationships.
When you
create your handbook or policies for your competitive dancers,
make it a point to include a “no boyfriend/girlfriend policy”
for competitions. There is plenty of time for the boyfriends
outside of the dance events. —Rhee
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