Ask Rhee Gold

Dance educators seek advice about teaching issues

Hi Rhee,

I’ve had some serious staffing issues this year. At the start of the season I dismissed a teacher for gossiping, but a highly qualified ballet instructor stepped up to the plate to take over those classes for me and has done a fine job. However, I discovered that she carries lots of emotional baggage. She told her ballet class last evening that she got fired because of the way she runs her classes. This is absolutely not true; she isn’t returning, but that isn’t why. I had three emails from students’ parents questioning her announcement.

Additionally, I got a phone call from her boyfriend explaining to me that he is flying her to Texas the day of my show to propose to her. He was very controlling and manipulative, and even after I explained why she needed to be at the show he wouldn’t budge. She teaches the babies through the teens, and the babies especially need their teacher to be present for guidance.

Let me say that this teacher is not a child. She is in her late 30s and has professional training. She’s no slouch.

My concern here is for damage control. If I replace her now—five weeks before the recital—these poor kids will be on their third teacher in one year, and that is certainly not good for business. A few parents have complained about this teacher and her lack of control and choreography for a show that’s so close. I don’t know what’s happened to her because she started off so well (and I do keep tabs and constantly check in with these teachers).

How do I do damage control with these parents? I worry about the reputation of my school. Approximately 50 students (around $25,000 in revenue for next season) would be affected by this and might leave with a bad taste in their mouths. Thank you.

— Phyllis

Dear Phyllis,

There is no easy solution to this problem. I’m not sure if I would let her go now, but I would definitely meet with her to discuss what she’s saying to her students about leaving. That is unacceptable and she should know that. As far responding to emails from parents about what she is saying to the students, I would tell them that you have no idea why she’s saying this but will check into it.

As for her not being there for the show, I would be sure I was there for those kids through the whole process. Take the time to watch their classes so that they feel comfortable with you. Take over for the teacher through the dress rehearsal and show process. Stay calm and make these kids and parents love the way you handle the situation. And then after the show I would let her go and not look back.

Often when a teacher screws up and the owner steps in to make the situation better, the parents rally behind the owner. Be classy and go overboard to please these kids and their parents. Most will return and those that don’t —well, you learned a lesson and that can be a good thing.

If the teacher doesn’t make it through the next few weeks, then you need to step in to make things right (by teaching her classes). But if you can keep her involved and quiet, it’s better not to disrupt the flow for the kids (or their parents).

I wish you a lot of luck.

— Rhee

Hello Rhee,

I recently returned from a benefit community performance that included several of the dance schools from my area. One of the schools presented a performance that I had choreographed for the same concert last year. It was the same music, almost the same costuming, and the choreography was pretty much verbatim. All of my students and their parents knew that this school had stolen our concept from last year; many were angry, and frankly so was I. Stealing choreography and ideas just seems wrong to me. Do you think I should keep quiet and forget about it, or should I let this teacher know how I feel? Any advice would be appreciated.

— Connie

Dear Connie,

When I was a teenager we went to a dance competition where another school did the same music, concept, and a lot of the same choreography that we had done the year before. I was angry and wanted my mother (my teacher) to do something. She responded, “I consider it flattery, and I’m better this year than I was last year.” She told me to keep my mouth shut and forget about it. In the end it was her new choreography that won. It was a lesson that I will never forget and I wanted to share it with you. That doesn’t mean that stealing choreography or ideas is the right thing to do, but managing to outdo ourselves each year keeps us ahead of those who aren’t creative enough to come up with a concept themselves.

So, I wouldn’t say a word to the teacher; the kids and parents from her school, who were at last year’s performance, know what she did and so does your own clientele. Her actions already have made her look bad. I think you should rise above it and get to work on your next masterpiece. Good luck!

— Rhee

Dear Rhee,

I have a parent who has caused me many a sleepless night, and the advice from other studio owners is to let this family move on. I’ve let this go on because of the children, but I can’t any longer. When is a good time to let someone know they are no longer welcome? We are entering three weeks of dance competitions and our year-end recital. Do I talk to the children as well?

— Tamara

Hi Tamara,

You are not alone. Parents create the biggest issues for all dance teachers. Don’t let this parent bring you down or give you any more sleepless nights. I would sit down with the parent and the students together. Explain that you appreciate the children but you can no longer deal with the negativity the parent brings to your school and its effect on your emotional well-being.

The best time to do this is after the competitions but before the recital. That way the season ends without the negativity, and the other dancers and their parents will know that you stand up for yourself. I hate that children have to pay consequences for their parents’ actions, but you have a school to run and you deserve to do that without the stress that this parent is giving you.

— Rhee

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