|
 Not Mommy and
Me
By Stephanie Steinmeyer
Preteen buddies make great partners for preschoolers
About seven years ago I began to offer a Mommy and Me class at
my studio, Hawthorn Dance and Gymnastics in Versailles, MO,
after hearing of the success of this kind of class in other
places with similar programs. Ours was primarily a gymnastics
class. The parents would come with their 2- and 3-year-olds
and spend half an hour assisting them with stretches, basic
tumbling, and large motor skills. The children hung on the
bars and walked on the low beam. I thought the class was
great—until my own darling boy was ready to join.
I had thought it would be so fun to just be a parent in class
with my son, but I quickly realized that there was a lot more
going on in there than I’d thought. There were children who
didn’t want to do anything. There were parents who were
perfectly happy to let their children do things that might be
dangerous. There were grandparents or pregnant mothers who
couldn’t keep up with the excited youngsters. There were older
siblings offered as substitutes for mom or dad. (I didn’t feel
comfortable with that for safety reasons.) Then there were the
moms who couldn’t understand why Katie couldn’t skip. Surely
she was intelligent enough. “C’mon, Katie, try harder,”
they would say, watching other children skipping with agility
and wondering why their child was failing. (I’m sorry to say I
fell into that category.)
Of course, there were also many parents who seemed to enjoy
the time with their children and did not leave feeling
frazzled and disappointed. But I wasn’t one of them. Instead,
I pulled my son out of the class until he was old enough to
attend without my assistance. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Over the next few years I overheard parents discussing how
relieved they were when their child graduated to a class where
the parents could sit and watch through a window. After a
while I dropped the entire program.
Skip ahead until my next child was 18 months old, when the
Tumble Tots program was born. It came into existence through
some coincidences. First, I had an 18-month-old son who I just
knew was going to be the next dance prodigy—only my
studio didn’t offer any classes for kids under 3. Also, it
seemed like there was a baby boom at the studio. A lot of
students had 1 ½- to 3-yearold siblings waiting around in the
lobby with all kinds of energy. It was natural to think that I
could do something with that. From a business standpoint, I
reasoned, I had people who were already interested in the arts
for their children, who knew our school, and who might like a
little time to sit without any children. And then there
was the group of fifth- to seventh-grade girls who were asking
me when they could help teach classes. (I usually employ
reliable high school girls to assist with some classes.) I had
never before considered allowing someone that young to help in
the classroom, but these girls had been with me since they
were very little, and they were responsible and serious for
their age. Still, I would never turn them loose on a class of
older children without knowing what they were capable of or
how dedicated they would be. But how would they do with
younger children?
That’s when it hit me—Tumble Tots! Here’s how it works: I
handpick the preteens based on their performance in their
classes and how long they have taken classes from me. Each big
kid buddies with a little one. I had special staff T-shirts
made for them so that they appear more professional and are
easily recognized as student assistants.
The little ones are assigned to a preteen buddy who works with
them for the duration of the class. The head teacher (my
mother) oversees everything. We set out lots of colorful items
in the dance room—big balls, tunnels, mats, cones, hoops, and
so on. The girls are taught various ways to engage
 the
children, so you might see Emmy, Bethany, Emily, and Savannah
helping their buddies learn to weave in and out of cones, kick
a ball, do a plié, or hop through hoops. There’s a big chart
so that the older girls can keep track of what they’ve worked
on and how well their little friend did. The head teacher
selects which activities will be available and changes things
up each week to keep the class interesting.
Unlike in our other classes, the children in the Tumble Tots
program are started on a trial basis. We bill by the month, so
parents pay the registration fee and one month’s tuition. You
never know how a child will handle the class, so if doesn’t
work for a child after three weeks, I refund whatever I think
is fair, depending on how much class they actually got. If the
parents re-register their children within 12 months, they
don’t have to pay the registration fee again.
Through trial and error we have established some main rules
for the class: Every task must be educational and
should relate to dance or gymnastics; and every girl must
always be within touching distance of her little charge.
The goals for the class, as we explain to the parents, are
modest.
1. We want the children to stay in the room for the entire
half-hour. (If a child wants Mommy and can’t be distracted,
her buddy takes her out into the hall to show her that her
mother is there, and then tries to entice her back into the
room.)
2. We want them to learn to wait to take a turn, even if it’s
behind only one other person. That’s when things like the
tunnel come in handy.
3. We want them to understand that they are to follow the main
teacher’s directions. My mother will stand in front of the
little ones and their buddies and play “copycat,” which is
where everyone has to do what she does as it gets sillier and
sillier. The little ones see the bigger girls setting the
example, and that helps them follow the directions.
4. We want them to participate in group activities like
holding hands and making a “snake.”
The children actually do learn things in the class; it’s not
just play. My son knows how to do a plié, an arabesque
(granted, it’s not beautiful), and tendu. He can squat down,
do a little mule kick, and gallop. He can weave between the
cones by himself and jump over things with two feet as well as
one at a time (like a leap). He’s 2 years old.
We have had some snags. Some parents don’t understand the
goals of the class, even though I explain them ahead of time.
They say, “My daughter can do all of that already. We have
that stuff at home.” But the object is to get her to do them
for us, when we ask her to do them, not when she wants
to do them, and for her to not have to check on her mother
three or four times during class.
As for the assistants, it’s hard for them to accept that being
silly is OK. It’s not about being cool. I’ve also had to help
them understand that they can’t bodily pick the children up
(in the classroom or outside of it) and teach them how to
maneuver a child without being too rough. And sometimes they
forget that the students are there to learn. They should be
counting the carpet squares as the child jumps on them and use
color and shape words. Things like that are hard for the
preteens to remember at first. They also tend to get a little
bored, so you’ve got to keep changing things for them as well
as for the toddlers.
Graduating out of Tumble Tots doesn’t happen according to age,
though the children do have to be potty trained and able to
understand verbal commands. But mostly they are deemed ready
to  move on when
they are able to stay in the room, follow directions, do what
we want them to do, wait a turn and follow in line,
learn skills and retain them for the next week, and expect
what’s next in simple combinations.
Some of our Tumble Tots students were in the recital this
year. They performed a maypole dance to classical music. We
taped ribbons to a big cardboard tube and stood it on a base.
Some of the children held the ribbons and circled the pole
until the ribbons were wound up, then reversed direction. The
children who couldn’t quite get that stood onstage next to
their buddies and waved loose ribbons. It was very low-key and
went very well.
With this class I have accomplished several goals that were
intentional. I now have a way to get a jump on training the
girls who might be helping with more difficult classes in the
future. I know their attendance habits and I get a glimpse of
their attitudes when they’re not in class. They get to
experience how I run my ship (which is pretty tightly) and
what is expected of them. They learn how to work with children
in a very supervised setting. Plus, the little ones are
getting a class and their moms are getting a break. The
children who graduate from Tumble Tots already understand how
a dance class is run, and none of them ask to see their
mothers or act up in class. They already know what’s expected
of them.
I also have accomplished some things I didn’t intend.
The little ones, as it turns out, now have a buddy for life!
Whenever they see their old buddy, they get a hug. The
preteens occasionally check up on a class that one of their
previous students has been moved to. The young children have
been given someone positive to look up to, and the older girls
realize this responsibility and work hard to live up to those
expectations. They have really formed a bond, and that in turn
strengthens the ideals that I have for my studio.
Photo captions (from top to bottom):
First two pictures: In the Tumble Tots program at Hawthorn
Dance and Gymnastics, fifth- to seventh-grade girls, including
Emily Dills (left) and Savannah Williamson-Field, pair up with
preschoolers to coach them through class activities.
Teacher’s assistant Emily Dills helps her preschool buddy,
Marie Schoolfield, learn to wait her turn with a
tunnel-crawling game.
All photos courtesy Stephanie Steinmeyer
Send Page To a Friend
|
